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These menu translations had me in tears

Usually I tend to be more sensitive about cultural differences and the language skills of those who are just doing their job. But today I came across a true beacon of unintentional humour, which I just had to share with you guys. As this topic makes fun of the nationality I represent myself, I feel entitled to write a post about it. Hell, I even feel that it is my obligation to cheer up your day with these truly genius restaurant menus. What makes things probably worse is that I have eaten in at least half of these places!

Have I consumed the Traditional Pee Soup when I genuinely was not ready for that? And to my horror, even my former workplace received a menu mention of a lifetime! What really made me howl with laughter though, were the comments from the Brits at the end of the post. I will also share those with you, dear readers! Brace yourselves, the pee soup and the nuts are coming to your hotel room!

Drumroll please…. I present to you:


The funniest restaurant menu translations from Finland!

Shrimp and crap salad for two. You can have crap on your pizza. Tepid chicken salad with bread. We give you water only when you ask.

(Cafe Rico, Turku)

"Sorry mate I'm running just a couple minutes behind. Go ahead and start without me. Could you order me a large pear salad with some extra crap?"

“Sorry mate I’m running just a couple minutes behind. Go ahead and start without me. Could you order me a pizza with some extra crap on top? And this time, REALLY ask for the water! Last time I don’t think you were menacing enough with your water order”


Dead snails from Åland in garlic and butter sauce. The cock is recommending today’s beef. We can serve your steak with much blood, some blood, medium or well-done.

(Ramada Hotel, Turku)

The house’s tart is called Torttu in Finnish and is warm. Ice cream with warm bear halves and toffee sauce.

(Fransmanni, Turku)

“Bears? Bears?? Bears???”

Mexican burrito with mutilated chicken meat and salsa.

(Raxx, Turku)

Why not also try this non-mutilated dog burrito? 



Try traditional Finnish pee soup. We bring the nuts and drinks to your room (room service card). Drink something if you want (room service card). Omelet is made with recent eggs from a local farm where the chickens are alive.

(Hotelli Helka, Helsinki)

This week is “bird meat week” but we also have a good selection of mammal meat. Japanese guests can have traditional breakfast with stinky rice and fishes. Cocktails are served in the bar only. You must drink cocktails there only. Blini served with cream and not real caviar.

(Hamburger Börs, Turku)

Stinky rice in the making

Stinky rice in the making for the Japanese guests


Tar ice cream – Finnish special. Good for people who eat tar and lingon berries.

(Viking restaurant Harald, Turku)

Children’s hamburger is served with the French Pizzas after clock 21 are not. Sorry.

(Memphis, Helsinki)


This tops them all… The reader’s comments!

Here’s when we get to my favourite part: the reader’s comments. Some of them are purely genius. Someone posted a collection of funny menus from around the world and quotes their favourite as: “Would you like to care for a cup of coffee?”

Mexican burrito with mutilated chicken meat and salsa

Gack, is the Raxx Pizza Buffet? Because the way the food looks there, it looks like they serve mutilated EVERYTHING

I’ve seen some funny language errors from my school cafeteria’s English language menu. e.g. lammas(liha) pullat was translated as “sheeps balls”

I have seen a restaurant near town called Scoopy Doo, think I may not be trying that one!

Today’s menu in our cafeteria included this: Marinated crap with blue cheese salad. It probably also tasted like what it promised to.

There is a Chinese restaurant in Helsinki called Ming Inn

This comment from a Brit really takes the first prize

And at a hotel in Northern Finland the front of their brochure announced:

“The Place for Swinging Couples”

Must have been twenty years ago, I asked the manager how guests could sleep with doors opening and closing all through the night. Blank stare until I explained. If we had the internet then they would have been snowed with bookings from the UK.


A British company seal the deal for the next company outing - Norther Finland awaits, bring your own door hinge lubricant for the creaky hotel doors

A British company seals the deal for the next company outing. Bring your own door hinge lubricant for the creaky hotel doors.


Thank you,, this really made my day!

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